It is not divorce
that harms children
(although
litigation can compound the problem). It is co-parental conflict that
can cause children to become angry and depressed, anxious and withdrawn.
Co-parental conflict can be associated with children's school failure,
escape into substance use, self-destructive behaviors, promiscuity and more.
When co-parental conflict becomes frequent and severe,
help is needed. Couples' or marital therapies
can be part of the answer. Individual therapy for each of the adults can
be a critical support. Child therapies can be necessary (even if not sufficient)
to help the kids keep their heads above the rising tide of anger.
Alternative dispute resolution
(mediation and arbitration) can also be helpful.
Go to the New Hampshire Conflict Resolution Association
(NHCRA)
When conflicted co-parents are married,
separation and/or divorce can become part of
the answer. With all due respect to the sensitive ethics and morals of
the matter, divorce can be a healthy child-centered solution in
some situations.
When
parents bring their conflict into the courts, a
Guardian ad litem
(GAL) can be assigned. A GAL is a child-centered professional assigned
by the court to investigate specific matters relevant to the co-parents
conflict (e.g., parenting rights and responsibilities) in order to advise
the court. The GAL typically has no decision-making authority and is
not a "helper" to the family. In most cases, the GAL's job is done when
his or her investigation is delivered in writing to the court.
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