is a co-parenting agenda?
This page introduces the idea
of a co-parenting agenda.
Participants in both co-parenting and
Parenting Coordination services will be asked
to provide an agenda via email, copy to all
participants, at least 24 hours in advance of
the scheduled service.
Be certain to include your name, the family
name (if different from your name) and the
date of the upcoming meeting on your agenda.
Your agenda should not include full sentences,
proper grammar or emotions. The goal is to
create a brief, bulleted list of
child-centered items that should be resolved.
State the item, not your opinion. For example,
"extra-curricular activities" rather than "I
think he should play soccer.
List agenda items in priority order. Health
and safety issues always come first.
Please create a new agenda for each meeting.
Do not rely on the agenda from the last
meeting as it is not likely to reflect your
current concerns and priorities.
Come to the meeting with any relevant data
(e.g., dates, times, places, costs, websites
or print materials to learn more).
co-parenting nor Parenting Coordination is
psychotherapy. Both are child-centered and
agenda driven. They are both conducted
like a business meeting, where the
business is the child's well-being.
2. A co-parenting
agenda is a short list of topics that
might be covered in a co-parenting or
parenting coordination meeting.
3. Dr. Garber will
typically ask that all participants in a
scheduled meeting deliver an agenda to all
(including Dr. Garber) at least 24 hours
in advance via email.
4. Agenda items should
be simple, clear factual statements. For
example, "summer camp" or "tennis lessons"
or "next orthodontist appt."
5. Agenda items must
not be emotional. Avoid blame, shame and
guilt. This usually means NOT including
phrases like "why did you...?" and "I
can't believe that ...!" and any words
that might be read as hurtful, demeaning
6. Agenda items should
be listed in priority order from most
important to least. Higher priority items
will include matters of health and safety
and time-urgent matters. Higher priority
items are more likely to be resolved in
the next meeting, while lower priority
items may be delayed and carried over to
the next meeting.
7. Children should not
be aware of these agendas or the process
of the meetings unless specifically
decided in meeting.
to put an item on the agenda and how to phrase
it? Write it down and leave it overnight. See
how it strikes you when you read it again the
next day. Ask a friend to read it and get
reactions. Ask, "how can I say this without
adding fuel to the co-parenting fire?"
In the end, the key will be deciding that you
love your children more than you hate their