is a co-parenting agenda?
This page introduces the idea
of a co-parenting agenda.
Participants in both co-parenting and
Parenting Coordination services will be asked
to provide an agenda via email, copy to all
participants, at least 24 hours in advance of
the scheduled service.
Be certain to include your name, the family
name (if different from your name) and the
date of the upcoming meeting on your agenda.
Your agenda should not include full sentences,
proper grammar or emotions. The goal is to
create a brief, bulleted list of
child-centered items that should be resolved.
State the item, not your opinion. For example,
"extra-curricular activities" rather than "I
think he should play soccer.
List agenda items in priority order. Health
and safety issues always come first.
Please create a new agenda for each meeting.
Do not rely on the agenda from the last
meeting as it is not likely to reflect your
current concerns and priorities.
Come to the meeting with any relevant data
(e.g., dates, times, places, costs, websites
or print materials to learn more).
Neither co-parenting nor
Parenting Coordination is
psychotherapy. Both are
child-centered and agenda
driven. They are both conducted
like a business meeting, where
the business is the child's
co-parenting agenda is a short
list of topics that might be
covered in a co-parenting or
parenting coordination meeting.
3. Dr. Garber will typically ask
that all participants in a
scheduled meeting deliver an
agenda to all (including Dr.
Garber) at least 24 hours in
advance via email.
4. Agenda items
should be simple, clear factual
statements. For example, "summer
camp" or "tennis lessons" or
"next orthodontist appt."
5. Agenda items
must not be emotional. Avoid
blame, shame and guilt. This
usually means NOT including
phrases like "why did you...?"
and "I can't believe that ...!"
and any words that might be read
as hurtful, demeaning or
6. Agenda items
should be listed in priority
order from most important to
least. Higher priority items
will include matters of health
and safety and time-urgent
matters. Higher priority items
are more likely to be resolved
in the next meeting, while lower
priority items may be delayed
and carried over to the next
should not be aware of these
agendas or the process of the
meetings unless specifically
decided in meeting.
to put an item on the agenda and how to phrase
it? Write it down and leave it overnight. See
how it strikes you when you read it again the
next day. Ask a friend to read it and get
reactions. Ask, "how can I say this without
adding fuel to the co-parenting fire?"
In the end, the key will be deciding that you
love your children more than you hate their